Operation Relocation

I have always wanted to live by the beach.  My fondest childhood memories occurred at the beach.  I was always happiest when I was at the beach, but who isn't? But life has seemed to lead me farther and farther from the beach.  I know I was never really that far from the beach, but it felt far.  It just seemed time to make what I wanted happen.  With that in mind, I began my adventure looking for a new place.  It seemed that the universe was thrilled with my idea of moving to the beach because within a few days of searching I found a great home near the beach.  It is amazing how different I feel.  Being able to get up in the morning and run on the beach has become a dream come true. Side note: Sand is colder than the water in the morning.

Life has been absolutely wonderful so far. I sometimes feel like I've moved to a completely different world.

I haven't had time to paint or draw in the past few months, but now that I'm finally settled, I have worked on a few things.  I am participating in the Brooklyn Art Museum Painting Pal Exchange.  I received a 4x4 canvas to draw or paint on.  I decided to paint about my move to the beach.  Here are the Mizzles enjoying their time at the beach.

Next, I will be working on a large 3' x 4' canvas.  This is inspired by the "man-cave" that is in the garage below me, which reminded me of the dogs playing poker painting.  This painting is clearly not for the kids.  Here are the Mizzles drinking and playing a game of poker.

Random Thoughts Thursday

Yoga, Yoga, Yoga!  I am so excited for this weekend.  My first yoga retreat! I am not allowed to bring any electronic devices, so my Sunday Agglomeration post will show up late Sunday evening, or Monday morning.  But I hope to have many photos and drawings to share!

Okay, back to my story.  For as long as I can remember, I have always been a runner.  I mean, my parents' favorite story to tell is about how I was 4 or 5 and started jogging 1 mile on Sunday mornings with my dad.  Their favorite and most detailed part of the story is about my blue jogging suit and my running shoes.  Running has been an on and off again form of exercise for me.  I was never a fast runner, but I have great endurance.  In high school, I ran long distance track and cross country.  I had stopped running for a long time.  Somewhere in my life I found myself in a relationship that encouraged laziness.  There were also some events that had happened which caused me to become unhappy with myself and I just didn't care.  Actually, I never realized that I stopped caring until I left that relationship.  I was at my heaviest weight and felt insecure in my own body.  As part of my personal journey to rediscover myself, I needed to feel healthy and happy again.  I began by taking a fitness kickboxing class.  I took this class for a little over 2 years.  I loved it.  But I started running again.  Things were going great until I did one of the moves in fitness kickboxing and pulled a muscle in my lower back. This put me out of commission for a month and when I slowly tried to go back to my routine, I would re-injure myself.  I was miserable.  I began walking.  Then, I received an email from Livingsocial.com about an offer for yoga classes at Freeman Yoga (http://www.freemanyoga.com/). Now, I was one of those people who did think yoga would feel like workout, or made the typical "om ..." meditation jokes that are made by people who only know yoga as how it is portrayed onTV.  But at this point, I thought yoga would be great to help strengthen my back muscles.  My goal was to strengthen my back muscles so I could return to running.  I admit my first yoga class was awkward.  I felt so out of place.  People are grabbing blocks, blankets, and belts.  People were stretching in silence.  There was a small group of people who were talking, but it was extremely quiet.  And as a notorious people watcher, I felt so on the spot because it was completely obvious I was people watching! But something amazing happened, I left class feeling relaxed and encouraged in a way I have never felt before.  Also, I never realized how I clenched my shoulders when doing various activities.  When I began, I had this small bulge that stuck out of my sports bra around the back of my neck.  It was more noticeable when I wore my bikini.  After a few months, it disappeared.  I noticed I would pay more attention to how I held my posture while standing, sitting, and walking.  With every class, I became more flexible and often times would surprise myself when I attempted a more challenging pose.  My body had changed so much.  I am stronger than I have been in a long time.  I can run again, too!  I haven't been running every day as I did before, but I have been participating in 5k's and I ran one 8k.  People notice and mention the changes they see in me.  I see the physical changes, but I think the emotional ones are the most important.  I love the way I feel!

At Freeman Yoga, there are different instructors and they each have their own style.  They are all great, but there are only a few that I absolutely love.  I think it is the energy they bring to the class. My favorite instructors are Jennie, Denise, Samantha, and Glen.   Of those, I enjoy Samantha's classes the most.  I think it is because of her personality.  She is like an artist with her medium.  She likes to play and explore with her poses.  I truly respect this being and artist.  I also understand it.  She is encouraging, but she also encourages you to laugh and have fun...especially when you fall out of a pose.  This makes it very non-threatening for a beginner.  I have learned quickly to trust her.  She guides you through each pose giving you great detail verbally how to move, and what the pose should feel like.  Usually by the end of our practice, I feel like superwoman because of the many challenging poses she guides us through.  Last week, we did the splits.  I have never in my life been able to do the splits, but I trusted Samantha would guide me into it successfully.  I was pleasantly surprised how close I was to doing the full splits.  My favorite part of her practice is the reading.  She reads a passage or quote from a book at the beginning and end of the practice.  She somehow always picks a theme that has been on my mind that day or week.  It resonates deeply with me, which creates a further calm in me because it is like the universe is reminding me that everything is going to work itself out.  If you ever get a chance to take her class, I high recommend it.  Here are a few of her websites:

http://www.yoginisam.com/
http://www.shantishantiyoga.com/

This weekend she is hosting a yoga retreat.  It presented itself at a time where I needed to do something for myself.  Three days in Santa Barbara doing yoga with one of my closest friends ,one of my favorite yoga instructors, and new friends.  I'm so excited!  I have a feeling I'm going to be refreshed and inspired in a much needed way!  I am taking sketchbooks, colored pencils, watercolor pencils, glue sticks, scissors... my usual creative kit.  I might take a Mizzle with me...or buy socks there to make a Mizzle from this trip.

Influences-Maurice Sendak

Now that I'm deeper in my journey of illustrating and writing, I wish my grandma was still around so I could thank her.  I have always known the impact she has had on who I am, but I don't think I truly acknowledged that she is the essence of my creative existence.  Without her, I would have never been influenced, inspired, or encouraged to be the creative being I am.  She exposed me to a variety of art and activities to build my creative skills.  She introduced me to Claude Monet, but she introduced me to Maurice Sendak first.

 When everyone hears his name they immediately associate it with his book Where the Wild Things Are. Oddly, this is not my first thought.  I don't remember reading that book until my sister was born, although I'm pretty sure someone in my family read it to me.  I do remember looking through her book The Art of Maurice Sendak. It was, and still is, my favorite book to look through.  These were my favorite pages to look at:

When I was in middle school, my grandma bought me his book, Dear Mili. I loved his illustrations, but I admit I didn't appreciate the story.  It wasn't until a few years ago, when my grandma passed away that I went back and read it.  I cried, partly, because I love my grandma so much, but partly because the story was so beautiful.

 This is my favorite illustration from the book.

A little something to watch.

Mixed Media

I know it may sound a bit odd that during my breaks I'm excited to spend a few days making art.  You are probably asking, "Don't you do that already?" The answer is yes, I do.  But there is a big difference from being an Art Teacher during the day and making time during my prep, or at home to work on my personal illustrations to being able to stay home and be an artist all day.  I love being an Art Teacher, but sometimes I wish I could just be an artist all day.  Note: I said "sometimes."  I know myself and I would get bored being home all of the time, or in a studio all day.  I, also, know that a lot of my inspiration comes from being around my students. So, time away from work and the projects I take on there is appreciated.  Here is what I did:

This is my latest watercolor pencil piece.
  I have fallen in love with some of my daily ink drawings and have decided they would be better in color.  I'm thinking of using this on my business card.

I really love look and feel of mixed media pieces and I never thought I could be very successful with it.  But I have decided it is important for me to play with because of the nature of how they are created.  You start out with your materials.  Sometimes you start with a plan of where to begin and where it might end.  But when you actually begin piecing it together, it morphs on its own; choices are constantly being made; and if you completely give in to the experience, your mind becomes quiet. Then you come back to reality and there is a piece of artwork before you.  With the collage, sometime the work looks bad; sometimes it is alright; and many times it surprises you with its perfect balance and harmony. For me, it is not about the end result when I create them.  For me, it is about quieting my mind and allowing it to escape from the to-do lists, dreams, wants and worries.

I'll end today with a few of my favorite quotes, which are posted next to my computer:

"Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep." 
-Scott Adams

"Creativity is not rearranging; it is transformation."
-Viola Spolin



Finding Happiness

One of my students came up to me and said "Ms. Roldan, I think you found happiness."  I smiled and thought that is kind of a weird thing to notice considering I am generally a very happy person.  But I was curious why this was on her mind.  She explained "Well, you wake up and come to work where you teach the youth how to be creative; at work, you, also, get to explore and play with mediums with your students and learn something together; you create your Mizzles and make up fun stories; you draw every day; and you are pursuing your dream of becoming a children's book author/illustrator, while doing all of the rest.  You are constantly being creative and loving what you do... you have found true happiness!"  She is absolutely right!

 But living a life in creativity isn't the secret to my happiness.  I have always managed to be creative in some way or form.  And it is true that I am currently in this constant state of creativity, which keeps me very happy.  It is finally seeing me for who I am and what I am truly capable of that makes me happy.  I know my flaws and have rediscovered my strengths.  I refuse to judge myself, but to love the imperfect me.  I have come to realize that it is never too late to pursue your dreams; and you are never too old to stop dreaming.  I have come to understand that no matter how bad things get there really is no need to stress or worry because it will all manage to work itself out; it always does.  It has taken a lot of bumps in the road for me to finally reach this state of happiness.  It was really nice to find out others can see how happy I am.

I might need help

First, I have began to notice that blogging on a daily basis is becoming too much.  I can see why many bloggers have guest bloggers, or they only post on certain days of the week.  I enjoy posting my daily drawings, but the commentary to go along with them can be exhausting.  Lately, the drawings are just that, drawings. Usually they illustrate something that has currently happened in real life.  I might have to post every other day.  I haven't decided yet.

  

Second, my squirrel collection grew yesterday.  I adopted more.  I wasn't too thrilled with how they looked at first.  They are not crafted as well as the others I own, but I had to have them anyways. I actually have 6 of these, but one currently lives on the tree I have in my classroom.  By the way, these make a squirrel noise when you squeeze them.  I'm such a big kid. When I was in the store, I kept pressing them, spacing them out in intervals so their sounds became a squirrel chorus.  It drove my sister nuts.  She believes my I have a squirrel problem.  She might be right.  I might need to get help.  But they are too cute and cuddly.

And today's drawing was something inspired by my artichoke spinach dip.  The smell of baking in the kitchen always draws others, especially when their tummies are empty.

Lastly, I think I've come to a new realization about myself this weekend.  I'm really good at making things happen for other people.  I can push through and find solutions to any obstacle that stands in their way.  I thrive seeing the joy and happiness on their faces when they see their visions come to life.  But for some reason I drag my feet when it comes to my own goals.  I work hard; I read and learn about everything I want to accomplish; I know what I need to do, but something always holds me back.  I find excuses or become too busy with other projects.  I love who I am and what I can do for others, but I need to work on making my own dreams and visions become a reality.  I think I'm afraid of being successful.  I know this might sound ridiculous.  I hate failing, also.  But I'm so content with where I am at that I haven't truly dived into what I want to do.  There is just a lot of busy work going on, which is strengthening me, but not really moving me forward.