Influences- Claude Monet

Claude Monet is one of the first artists I can remember learning about.  I remember spending time with my grandmother and looking through her art books.  There was one we loved to look through a lot, which was A Day in the Country. 

Terrace at Sainte-Adresse, 1867 was my favorite Monet painting to look at in the book.   This painting for some reason was burned into my memory.  I liked it because it was very realistic looking instead of the impressionistic look.  Even at a young age I was fascinated with a more realistic style.

Claude Monet
Terrace at Sainte-Adresse, 1867

My love for Impressionism continued to grow and I remember doing reports about Georges Seurat in middle school.  But my love of Monet was permanent on my first visit to New York.  I went to MOMA (Museum of Modern Art) and saw one of his water lily paintings.  It was massive and as you sit and look at it, you become consumed by the serenity and calmness of the colors.  From that moment on, any time I was in New York, I had to go to MOMA and sit in front of the Monet. 

Then in 2008, I had gone to Paris.  It was my first trip to Europe.  It was a beautiful city and I was excited to see all of the graffiti art.  Then I stumbled upon the Orangerie Museum, which houses 8 water lily paintings.  They were massive and beautiful! I remember being a bit sad because my camera batteries were dying.  But I managed to get in some photos. I think I also bought every book they had in the gift shop about the paintings.  If you ever get a chance to see one in person, I recommend finding a place to sit in the middle of the painting and just stare.  

Finding Happiness

One of my students came up to me and said "Ms. Roldan, I think you found happiness."  I smiled and thought that is kind of a weird thing to notice considering I am generally a very happy person.  But I was curious why this was on her mind.  She explained "Well, you wake up and come to work where you teach the youth how to be creative; at work, you, also, get to explore and play with mediums with your students and learn something together; you create your Mizzles and make up fun stories; you draw every day; and you are pursuing your dream of becoming a children's book author/illustrator, while doing all of the rest.  You are constantly being creative and loving what you do... you have found true happiness!"  She is absolutely right!

 But living a life in creativity isn't the secret to my happiness.  I have always managed to be creative in some way or form.  And it is true that I am currently in this constant state of creativity, which keeps me very happy.  It is finally seeing me for who I am and what I am truly capable of that makes me happy.  I know my flaws and have rediscovered my strengths.  I refuse to judge myself, but to love the imperfect me.  I have come to realize that it is never too late to pursue your dreams; and you are never too old to stop dreaming.  I have come to understand that no matter how bad things get there really is no need to stress or worry because it will all manage to work itself out; it always does.  It has taken a lot of bumps in the road for me to finally reach this state of happiness.  It was really nice to find out others can see how happy I am.

I might need help

First, I have began to notice that blogging on a daily basis is becoming too much.  I can see why many bloggers have guest bloggers, or they only post on certain days of the week.  I enjoy posting my daily drawings, but the commentary to go along with them can be exhausting.  Lately, the drawings are just that, drawings. Usually they illustrate something that has currently happened in real life.  I might have to post every other day.  I haven't decided yet.

  

Second, my squirrel collection grew yesterday.  I adopted more.  I wasn't too thrilled with how they looked at first.  They are not crafted as well as the others I own, but I had to have them anyways. I actually have 6 of these, but one currently lives on the tree I have in my classroom.  By the way, these make a squirrel noise when you squeeze them.  I'm such a big kid. When I was in the store, I kept pressing them, spacing them out in intervals so their sounds became a squirrel chorus.  It drove my sister nuts.  She believes my I have a squirrel problem.  She might be right.  I might need to get help.  But they are too cute and cuddly.

And today's drawing was something inspired by my artichoke spinach dip.  The smell of baking in the kitchen always draws others, especially when their tummies are empty.

Lastly, I think I've come to a new realization about myself this weekend.  I'm really good at making things happen for other people.  I can push through and find solutions to any obstacle that stands in their way.  I thrive seeing the joy and happiness on their faces when they see their visions come to life.  But for some reason I drag my feet when it comes to my own goals.  I work hard; I read and learn about everything I want to accomplish; I know what I need to do, but something always holds me back.  I find excuses or become too busy with other projects.  I love who I am and what I can do for others, but I need to work on making my own dreams and visions become a reality.  I think I'm afraid of being successful.  I know this might sound ridiculous.  I hate failing, also.  But I'm so content with where I am at that I haven't truly dived into what I want to do.  There is just a lot of busy work going on, which is strengthening me, but not really moving me forward. 

Nightmares

When I think of nightmares, I think of the typical fears children have at night: the dark, monsters under the bed, weird creatures outside their window, or ghosts haunting nearby.  Usually my dreams are intense adventures, or scavenger hunts, where I'm searching for an answer.  I never know the question, never understand the clues, and never find the answer, but I have the same cast of people who are with me on the journey getting me further along.  Last night, however, was something completely different and out of the blue.  I had a nightmare.  I won't go into details, but I was violently hurt and woke up crying.  When I went back to sleep my dream continued right where it had stopped.  At some point in the dream, a friend came by to take care of me.  I was having nightmares within my nightmare, but they all stopped when my friend would hold my hand.  Even the real nightmare seemed to stop at this point and I was finally able to drift off to a comfortable sleep. 

I find dreams so fascinating, regardless of them being good or bad.  I'm sure my subconscious is trying to tell me something that I apparently wasn't aware I had been worrying about.  The only thing I don't like about my dreams is that I always wake up so exhausted from them.  It is always feels like I never really went to sleep.  But they do give me interesting stories to tell. 

Tea fixes EVERYTHING

O.K. Tea doesn't fix everything, but my art club vice president, Kimberly, pointed out to me that whenever someone is feeling sick, or having a bad day my first response is "Would you like a cup of tea?"  I can't seem to help it.  There is just something comforting about a cup of tea.  It calms you with its warmth.  It delights you with its flavor.  But it's true, I do solve every problem with a cup of tea.  Even my friends at work, who are sick, are constantly receiving tea from me.  I guess I push tea so much I gave Kimberly a weird dream.  She dreamt that people kept walking into my room with some kind of problem and I would give them tea to make them feel better.  Her favorite, as well as mine, was the guy who had an axe in his head.  Apparently, my cup of tea was able to heal him, too.  Hey, why not?  My favorite tea is Celestial Seasoning mint green tea with white tea.  Other favorites are: Trader Joe's Promegranate White tea, and Lipton's Chamomile.  Today was a Tazo Passion tea day.  It has been very cold this week for us Californians, so the tea has been a welcomed warmth throughout my day.