Be Stronger

I have been meaning to update this blog on a more regular basis.  I have been considering returning to my daily posts and daily drawings and see how long I can keep it going this year. But it has been very difficult to find things to be positive about right now.  I know life could always be worse and that our nature is to view the grass is greener on the other side. I find this scenario strange.  I've never had difficulty seeing others in difficult heartbreaking situations. I feel for them and can maintain an objective point of view where their hardships never took a toll on my own emotions. But to see my parents so vulnerable has taken such a toll on me.  I experienced this a little 2-3 years ago, when both parents lost their moms. I saw them in a completely different way.  I have always known my parents to be strong and unbreakable.  Losing their parents revealed the cracks.  Right now, those cracks are huge holes. They are both unbelievably strong, but now I see the fear in their eyes and hear the sad tone in their voices.  It is hard to see and hear the truth they worked so hard to keep from us.  I think I'm doing as well as I can be in this exhausting situation, but I'm tired of people's words of comfort "stay strong," or "be the strong Nadia I've always known you to be." What they don't understand is that I'm always the strong one.  I'm always the one people rely on.  I'm tired of "being strong."  For once, I would love for it to be okay for me to be fragile. This is where my art comes in.  My art, along with my cats, seem to understand my need for vulnerability. It is in my art I'm allowed to be whoever and however I want to be.  Art does not have an opinion.  It listens and it heals.
 
I began by creating a new drawing for my dad. For the past year, I have been creating charcoal drawings of old Native American photos. This is the 3rd of an on-going series.

I also made a painting for my best friend.  I wasn't sure what to create for her, so I just let the painting take control.  It turned out well and she loved it!  I found it interesting the words she used to describe it.  She said it made her feel hopeful, calm, and uplifted.  I also found it interesting her view of the fairy v. an angel.  She said an angel made her think of death, but a fairy made her feel hopeful. I kind of agree because fairies hold a child-like innocence.  I can't think of an instance where fairies are feared.  Angels on the other hand can be thought of as miracles, but can also be associated with death. 

I enjoyed the freedom I felt in creating the painting for my best friend that I decided to start another one.  Here is another, but it is still in progress.

I have this desire to work on specific projects, but I just can't seem to get myself to work on them.  I find myself looking for distractions or other projects to fulfill my need to create, but not the ones I should be working on.  I have just finished creating 3 new Mizzles and have a few more in progress.

Save the Date! August 18, 2012

On Saturday, August 18, 2012, I will be participating in a group show.  I haven't been in a group show since college.  I used to be an active member of the La Habra Art Association and participate in their juried group shows.  But I eventually moved away and stopped.  Lately, I have been showing my illustration portfolio at children's book conferences.  That alone has been a bit nerve wrecking, but it is the closest thing to exhibiting my work.

Sometimes when you begin thinking about your future, what you want, and all of the possibilities, the thought alone is enough to make it all happen.  I had decided to rejoin the Art Association.  I thought it would be nice to begin showing my work again, even if it is in an itty bitty little place.  But what started it all was starting an ETSY account.  I have been playing various materials, making paintings, drawings, and collages and all of the art work had been piling up in my apartment.  Space was becoming scarce.  My idea was to just sell my work to get it out of my apartment.  It wasn't about money.  It was about the love of making my art.  To my surprise, I was contacted by RAWartists about the possibility of showing my work in a group show.  I find this whole scenario odd in an exciting way.  Usually artists have to go out in search of finding someone to show their work.

So, now is the dilemma of choosing what to put in the show.  I think I have it figured out. But changes could still occur.  I have no idea what to expect, or what could come of this.  But I feel that there is something serendipitous about this art show.  I've been painting and drawing these characters for so long now.  There is just something very special about how things seem to be coming more together as I continue on my journey and the artwork that drew attention to me were the very paintings and Mizzles that began it.

 If you get a chance, you should come out and join us!  It sounds like a fun event.  There will be art work displayed, a fashion show, and bands playing.  Tickets are $10 online and you can get them at http://www.rawartists.org/roldan.  (Please make sure that the artist listed says "Mizzle Adventures") Otherwise tickets are $15 at the door. 

I went to the walk through today to see the set up.  I think the fact that there is a huge tree in the middle of the bar is a really good sign. (I love trees!)  It sounds like it is an entertaining event.  There will be booths for the visual artists, but there is a fashion show and 2 bands playing.  If you get the opportunity to go, make sure you get there at 6pm when the doors open.  If not, you could miss out!