Sunday, May 26, 2013


I had been extremely exhausted lately. Life has overwhelmed me this year with choices, and responsibilities that have helped me to get over things that have always made me uncomfortable or have even feared. I've had more honest and open conversations with my mom and dad about family stuff that has bothered me. I've become more comfortable in allowing myself to be more vulnerable and to ask for help(I'm still taking baby steps, but its happening a bit more). And I've come to realize and accept some of my flaws that I never wanted to see before. But the journey of all of this and the process has been draining. It's like an emotional roller coaster that gives you no breaks from the ups and downs. The small changes that I thought would be easy to handle and adapt to had more of an impact than I could have ever imagined. As a result, I have felt drained of all the happy magic that makes me feel whole. I desperately needed to not be home. So I packed up and flew out to see my best friend in Chicago. Our other best friend was able to join us and we had a brief, but wonderful girls weekend. Laughing, talking about some real issues and digging a little deep into ourselves, and walking, walking, and walking was the agenda for this weekend. It feels like there is a lot of enthusiam, hope, and new starts that are happening or are about to happen.

As I'm sitting on the plane flying home, looking out the window at the beautiful world below me. I find myself thinking how much this activity used to terrify me. I used to hate flying, especially the take-offs and landings. I especially had difficulty sitting near the window and looking down. But I'm sitting here absolutely LOVING IT! I even requested the seat to begin with. I'm also wondering at what point did I stop being so afraid of this. I'm starting to realize that there are many things that I've "feared" and have allowed other things in life to become excuses for me. And I know I have to stop doing that. My body is itching for me to make changes. This trip was just the start. I'm feeling recharged and ready to start running down the path I was originally mapping out for myself. I've fallen a bit behind and need to get caught up.

I've attached a few photos of Kelen Mermizzle and Larry Mizzle, who went with me. Unfortunately, they didn't get to see that much of Chicago. And a photo from my flight home. I haven't done an email post, so I'm not sure if all of the photos will post. I guess we'll find out soon enough. Almost home :)

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