Lately, it seems I have been having this conversation more and more with my students. Being a high school art teacher has it benefits. It makes me reflect on my own personal beliefs in my own art and what I am teaching my students. Sometimes they are not exactly the same thing. I have noticed my teaching style and beliefs have changed since my journey has begun. I believed that it was only about create great pieces of work, or building up to that. Within the last few years, I have begun to transition on the importance of play, experimenting with materials, and just drawing no matter what it looks like.
Today, one of my AP studio art students asked me about my education background and how did I end up teaching. She began telling me that she doesn't think she is a good artist and that she can't see herself drawing her whole like. I explained to her that her feelings are of a true artist. I don't think any of us ever think we are good enough. It really takes a lot of effort for us to stand back, look at our work, and notice what we have done right. I told her that I feel as though she has found that medium, or technique, or subject matter that lights that fire of creativity within her and drives her to mass produce. I don't think she'll never draw her whole life. She has lots of talent. This might not become a career for her, but I think she will continue with it as a hobby. I shared with her how at one point in my life I felt unbelievably lost in life, where I didn't even recognize myself in the mirror. I told her it didn't feel sad. It felt empty. Art saved me from that feeling. I began creating and creating more. I explained to her that I have many pieces of work that are never finished, or turn out really bad. I just keep producing work. I have an openness to ideas and trying new techniques, which allows me to just play with my work. If I stop creating for 2 weeks that empty feeling comes back and I begin to feel lost again. But now that I've been creating more and more work, I have fewer pieces that turn out absolutely horrible.
I know she doubts herself and as we get closer to the AP portfolio due date I continually try to get her motivated. I told her that she needs to just keep producing work, collecting images of animals, or things she likes, and to just trust her and create. And in that mass production of work, there will be art work that is horrible, ugly, okay, and absolutely beautiful! But it takes making a lot of work before the beautiful begins to show up more than the ugly work.
Here are a few unfinished or unhappy artwork that now occupy parts of my home until I decide to finish them or throw them out.
